Judging a bartender's competence by the state of the bar

In the grand days of professional bartenders you could judge mixers by the freshness of the flower on their lapel, their ability to address all guests by their proper names, and a fresh crease in their linen jackets. But today there are few standards one must uphold to gain employment at any bar. The lack of reputable establishments honoring the bartending trade suggests that it's time for the educated guest to take over and begin educating those behind the bar.

As most of you know, bartenders make the majority of their income from gratuities. Most bartenders have come to expect a buck a drink for very little effort on their part, and unlike other service industries, these mixers often receive their tip before imbibers even sample their wares. Of course, you can always punish slack bartenders with a low tip the second time around, but wouldn't it be nice if there was a gauge for judging a bartender's worth before leaving a tip?

Fortunately, there are plenty of hints in bars - you just need to notice them. When you look across the back of the bar, what do you notice? Is it orderly? Are the bottles arranged in some fashion that would imply that there was some sort of forethought put into the setup? Or is the bartender rushing back and forth, unable to make a drink efficiently because of how the stock is laid out? Conscientious bartenders will have arranged their bar to serve their needs. The best in the business will show up a bit early for every shift to make certain there is a smooth transition during the changing of the guard. Chances are they'll move a few items around so that they are within arms' reach. For instance, the day bartender will have a greater need for the ingredients of the Ramos Fizz. But a good evening-shift bartender will put most of those items away, though still keeping them accessible for visits by late risers. Bartenders who blame anything on the day shift probably haven't put in a decent effort themselves.

If there is an espresso machine behind the bar it will speak volumes about the bartender. Its cleanliness and working condition are both noteworthy. The laziest of bartenders will claim that the machine is out of order, when the reality is that they are unwilling to pull a fresh espresso. If the excuse is given, look for coffee grounds and crusted milk on the steamer. Both are signs of someone who doesn't care much for detail or keeping tools in good order. This bartender is the type who would make your Martini with a shaker reeking of a Margarita.

If you are in a state that still allows polite smoking in public places, the ashtrays are another good sign for judging whether your bartender is performing well or not. First-rate bartenders will have ashtrays strategically placed so that anyone in need will have one in a timely fashion and will not have to share one with other smokers. Smokers are considered high maintenance at the bar, because a good host will empty an ashtray after every two or three cigarettes, or when they are checking on your drink or changing your bar napkins.

One of my pet peeves when walking into a bar is having to sit where there are other people's messes. If it is not a crowded bar, the bartender should have the time and awareness to clean up the area of any vacant stools. The worst is sitting at the bar and having your jacket stick to the soiled rail as you wipe off the crumbs and ashes of the previous guest. A bartender can make up for a lack of preparedness by showing up promptly to greet you while making an attempt to straighten the bar.

Another thing to watch is how a bartender makes use of cocktail napkins. Practically speaking, they are needed only when serving highballs or Collinses in glasses that tend to sweat. Their purpose is to capture the moisture that would have otherwise dribbled on you. But behind the bar, they can demonstrate much more. At some establishments, bartenders will put a napkin down once they have received your order, signaling to other employees that you have been taken care of. That is probably why they are often used even when serving in stem ware. Personally, I find it clumsy to set down my glass of champagne on a wrinkled piece of scrap. I much prefer a clean bar. However, some drinkers inevitably feel snubbed if they don't receive a napkin, no matter what glass they are drinking from. A bartender serves three Gin and Tonics and a glass of chardonnay on three napkins, and the wine drinker will feel snubbed. Some of these details may seem a bit petty, especially if your bartender pours a decent drink. But be aware of them, and you will see that they do affect how enjoyable your nights out on the town actually are, and whether you want to go back to a particular establishment.