First up: The drinks to start with

Long gone is the time when a bartender wore a pressed white linen jacket with a freshly cut flower in the lapel. The era of professionally prepared cocktails has passed (though we prefer to think it's merely on hiatus). Nowadays, most people serving libations would rather be doing something else.

Of course, a few bartenders still mix with the rigor of Murray at Il Bistro in Seattle or Dale at the Rainbow Room in Manhattan. But if you've been reading, you're already more qualified to speak about cocktails than most bartenders.

No matter how good or how paltry a bartender's skills may be, remember: bartending is about ego. If a bartender's ego has been bruised or otherwise damaged, your chances of getting anything more demanding than a lukewarm Martini are slim.

Catering to the bar

When you're out on the town and want a properly prepared cocktail, you must cater to the person tending bar. Don't fret - there are steps you can take to win over almost any bartender.

First off, never begin by asking a bartender if another bartender is working. Almost any bartender will find such a question irritating. If you plan on getting fresh fruit squeezed for you, you would do well to act pleased to see whomever you find at your service. After a drink or two, you can safely inquire as to the whereabouts of another bartender, be it a friend or simply someone else you have heard about.

After the initial greeting, don't request anything requiring fresh juice, unless you see others drinking such cocktails already. Every bar will have lemons and limes, but very few will have an efficient way of extracting their juice. If you want to test your bartender's skill, order an Old Fashioned. This is one drink that even today's bartenders have heard of and have had the chance to practice. They shouldn't be intimidated by your request, and by observing their motions, you'll be able to measure their expertise. If an Old Fashioned is not to your taste, have a cold draft or a simple mixed drink until you're confident that a well-made cocktail is within the realm of possibility.

If it's evident that the bartender is unfamiliar with a drink you've ordered, be patient and generous. Remember, bartending is an occupation; the person serving you is out to make a living. Putting an extra dollar in the tip jar (that means two, not one) after your first drink will work wonders. Priming the pump in this way will dispose the bartender more kindly toward any direction that you, as a customer, might offer. If it's financially rewarding and you're a gracious guest, most bartenders will take great pleasure from learning to make a new cocktail.

When you go into a bar and order an unfamiliar beverage, make sure you have the facts straight. Some mixologists will be able to make something to your liking with only a cryptic description, but many will need exact measurements and specific presentation tips. The more information you can supply, the less they have to guess.

Some drinks in Cocktail may require ingredients not found in most bars. (A friend of mine often smuggles mint into bars for her juleps.) And of course, even with the right recipe, your cocktail may not be right the first time around. Still, if you keep up the encouragement and the banter, the drink will eventually come out the way you want it. What's more, you'll have made a bartender friend, something we all need once in a while.