First off, never mix anything with a single or vatted malt scotch. It's a waste of a fine spirit and a menace to your well-being if a finicky Scot were to see you do it. As Mark Twain wrote, "Whiskey to a Scotchman is as innocent as milk to the rest of the human race." Needless to say, if you're not a Scot, you may need to work your way up to their native spirit. Start with a few drops of malt or vatted whiskey in a glass of water and proceed in the logical direction. (If you use spring water, even a Scot may be blind to the bungle in etiquette.)

Every single malt has its own distinctive taste, but each scotch is made from 100 percent barley instead of a mixture of corn, barley, and rye mash. As with all whiskeys, uniqueness is achieved by adding something extra to the distillation process. Scotland's abundance of fresh water, barley, and peaty soil have contributed to a great variety of distinct flavors. Of course, there are other factors that can affect the flavor, from the charring of oak casks to sheep peeing into the local spring.

Blended scotch is a whole other story, and one far more palatable to the masses. As its name implies, this liquor is mixed from 20 to 40 single malts for a far smoother or - as a diehard malt drinker would say - less distinctive taste. We've been assured by the Sultan of Single Malts, Stuart Maclean Ramsay, that this whiskey is perfectly fine for mixing in such cocktails as the Rob Roy, the Rusty Nail, and the Affinity. In fact, after a disastrous grape harvest in France, which hampered the brandy-makers' yield, Victorians switched from their favored brandy and water to blended scotch and water.

Although there are a few 15th-century mentions of scotch as a medicinal tonic, it wasn't until the next century that the spirit became prevalent. According to Derek Cooper's Little Book of Scotch Whiskies, the Guild of Surgeon Barbers was given the exclusive right to distillation during the 16th century, though there has always been plenty of clandestine production of this spirit. Around 1820, the whiskey boom hit, and now, more than 100 years later, scotch is back in favor.