Single malts vs. blended: Knowing which scotch to order when

Maybe it's the winter months, or maybe it's cocktails. If you've been faced with the wrath of such mixers and their tendency to eighty-six patrons, don't take it personally. Instead, consider those bartenders to be like your friends (and annoyances) who never see eye to eye with you when it comes to matters of politics and religion.

Part of the difficulty of selecting any Saint Paddy's Day, cocktail requests involving Irish whiskey will cause a ruckus at the bar. But for now it's scotch, and your best defense against gruff mixers is knowing the langsyne story of this distillation - starting way back, with emphasis on the "What Is Whisky" case of 1906.

Heard under the British Parliament, the "What Is Whisky" case set out to define what could be called whiskey and what it meant to be a scotch whiskey. No easy task, considering that not everyone in the UK - let alone the rest of the world - could agree even on the spelling of the word. (The Irish and Americans spell whiskey with an "e" - the Scots, English, and Canadians go without it.) The starting ground for the scotch debate was that around the turn of the century, all scotch whiskeys were made in traditional pot stills from native malted barley. Like vodka, or even the likes of Everclear, they produced a whiskey for less money that actually appealed to more people. These Scotch distillers - all of whom were Lowlanders - were also convinced that they could lure Americans and their dollars with these lower-grade scotches, since - whether right or wrong - the Scotch were certain that the Yanks were drinking for effect, not taste.

Single-malt producers - most of whom were Highlanders - took great offense at this approach, citing that it both lessened the reputation of scotch and dipped into their profits. Taking their argument to Parliament, they wrote, "In the interest of public health ... (1) to place restrictions upon the materials or processes which may be used in the manufacture and preparation in the United Kingdom of Scotch and Irish whisky or of any spirit to which the term whisky may be applied; (2) to require a declaration of the age of whisky and of the material and processes used in its manufacture and to fix a minimum period during which any such spirit should be matured in bond."

As you might suspect, the case wound up being a battle between centuries of Scottish tradition and good old capitalism. The Parliament didn't issue a final report until well into 1909, and then they ruled most favorably for the proponents of blended scotch. In other words, capitalism won out, and things are no different today. In fact, the words of the Duke of Richmond and Gordon, grandson of the Duke responsible for legalizing Highland distillation in 1823, still hold true: "... a public inquiry has taken upon itself to decide what is whisky. And I regret to say that apparently anything that is made in Scotland, whatever its combination, is to be called Scotch whisky. For my part, I prefer, and I think that most of those whom I am addressing now would prefer, to trust to their own palates rather than to the dogmas of chemists, and to be satisfied with the whisky that is produced in Glenlivet as against any other quality that is produced in Scotland." Vodka drinkers here in the States face a similar situation with their spirit. In 1949, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms mandated that all vodkas be "neutral spirits ... without distinctive character, aroma, taste, or color," but vodka's followers will tell you that not all vodka brands are created equal.

In mentioning Glenlivet, the Duke was referring to a Highland whiskey that is still the most famous of all single malts. The Highland region lies north of an imaginary line drawn between Greenock and Dundee. Here, very near the Spey river, more than half of the favored Highland single malts are produced. Nothing quite compares to a Highland malt made from a perfect balance between aging and the Highlands' barley, peat, soft water, and air. Glenlivet is still the most popular single malt, but because of a growing demand for single malts, brands such as Macallan, Knockando, and Glenmorangie also can be found in first-class restaurants and specialty stores.

To the west of the Highlands is the region know as Islay, where the Irish first introduced the idea of distillation and whiskey. The whiskey of this region, occasionally classified as Campbeltown or Isle of Skye, is especially complex and heavy-tasting, and therefore not overly popular. They're smoky, and to some imbibers taste like iodine. Interestingly, the cigar crowd has revived interest in these scotches. There are other distillers, such as Macallan or Lagavulin, that produce velvety smooth 12-year-old, 18-year-old, 25-year-old, or older whiskeys for the more sensitive palates.

From the south of Scotland come the degenerates, at least according to those who cling to the old school of whiskey-making. Blended whiskey houses first infiltrated Scotland in this region. Lowland single malts - which are by far the lightest of all malts - are rare in today's consumer market. Most are used to make light-bodied blends like Haig & Haig, Dewar's, and Black & White. Blended whiskey is easily produced in large quantities that are easily crafted into satisfying spirits. For this reason, the price per bottle or serving is usually half that of a single malt. Blended distillers are now trying to cash in on the current single-malt craze by marketing longer-aged versions of their whiskeys. It's not all that surprising now to come across a US$100 bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label or Chivas Royal Salute, both of which are more than 20-year-old blends.

If you're ever in the mood for straight whiskey, opt for a single malt without ice or, if you must, one or two cubes. Do anything more to a single malt and you risk the wrath of the bartender (even the request for a few chunks of ice has been known to set off temperamental mixers). When faced with an order for a single malt in a mixed drink, good bartenders - those who know which quality liquors will improve a cocktail and which will needlessly jack up a drink's price - will either smirk or suggest a blended scotch instead, depending on whether they suspect that you're out to impress by being excessive, or that you merely didn't know the difference between the custom of each. The latter point is rarely a bone of contention for mixers. After all, what professionals don't like to show off their skill and knowledge occasionally? Just be nice when you ask, and remember that a good first tip never hurts.